Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Browse Sections Home Mind & Soul Psychology 64 Ways to Say I Love You

Love you very muchStrengthening your relationship can help you overcome fear of intimacy, develop close connections, & spice up your love life. Here's 64 ways to say I love you.

A little relationship advice can go a long way, and so can a list of relationship tips. Specific, practical ways of showing your love for your partner, kids, and friends can increase the communication, connection, and caring in your family. Knowing how to say I love you consistently and sincerely will give you and your lover a natural high!

* Romantic Valentine's Day Gifts for Lovers is a great way to say "I love you" this Valentine's Day.
* For more involved, practical relationship suggestions, try Healthy Ways to Say I Love You.
* If you're curious about expressing your love to your parents who have everything, read Saying I Love You to Mom & Dad - especially on Mother's Day or Father's Day.

64 Ways to Say "I Love You":

1. Don't compare them to anyone.
2. Be courteous at all times.
3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
5. Give your full attention when talking.
6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
10. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
11. Read books aloud together.
12. Say you're sorry.
13. Recall good and bad memories.
14. Let go of the past to say I love you.
15. Do nothing together.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Leave stress at work to say I love you.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together - such as crosswords or Suduku.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. To say I love you, take pride in them -- and show it.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth to say I love you.
37. Use pet names to say I love you.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Be yourself.
45. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
46. To say I love you, ignore slights.
47. Pray or meditate together.
48. Practice forgiveness.
49. Watch classic movies together.
50. Leave notes or send letters.
51. To say I love you, buy a "for no reason at all" gift.
52. Don't gossip or judge.
53. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
54. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
55. Learn something new together.
56. Go dancing.
57. Keep your promises to say I love you very very much.
58. Make them laugh.
59. Consider their feelings.
60. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
61. Hide a treat in their lunch.
62. To say I love you, make home a fun place to be.
63. Let them make their own decisions.
64. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.

Saying I love you takes work and making your relationship stronger does take work. It's hard to be honest, and it's hard to accept the consequences of your honesty and authenticity. It takes time, energy, and commitment to stay connected through all the problems that life and people bring. It can be painful, aggravating, and scary to stick it out through all the ups and downs....but the alternative is worse.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

THE BEST WAYS TO FIND TRUE LOVE


Look at the one right beside you

It's very common for single people to spend their time searching and searching for the "right person." Zen suggests that we stop running around and instead see what is right in front of our eyes.

Look at a person who is close to you in your life right now. Whether this is a friend, a potential mate or more, notice the ways in which you push him away. Stop doing that. Just allow the two of you to be together in whatever way you are. Accept everything about your relationship as it is.

Do the same thing tomorrow with someone else. This doesn't mean that you have to consider marrying every person who crosses your path. It's just an exercise to see how commonly you might dismiss people who are already in your world because you're busy waiting for the "right one" to appear. But the more "right" you can be with everyone, the more you can open up to the very real possibilities of the present.

Stop playing around with love

So many singles complain that they are not loved. The reason for this can be quite simple. They are so busy playing games that potential partners never get to know who they really are.

What roles or games do you play in relationships? What roles do you expect others to assume? Chances are, you follow a pretty clear pattern, but the question is: Are you falling in love with the person, or with the role that he plays? If you're not sure about your roles, turn them around for a little while. Try playing different roles. Experiment with someone who plays roles that you are not accustomed to. Notice how that feels.

The goal is to become aware of the difference between who you are and the roles you play. Eventually you'll be able to let the roles go and simply be who you are -- which is a Zen-like state of being. Who you are is always lovable and beautiful. It's the roles that get in the way.

Let partners come and go

One major obstacle in living a life of love is the tendency to hold on. We grasp and cling to each other, preventing the freedom of love from rising on its own. Zen asks us to let go.

When someone comes into your life, let him come. Welcome the person, whoever he is. Enjoy what it is he brings, even if it's only for a short time.

When it is time for a person to go away, let him go. Do not turn the person's leaving into an experience of rejection, loss or abandonment. Realize that his leaving has nothing to do with you. It is simply time for him to go.

Do this with yourself as well. Let yourself come and go freely in life, and don't get caught in unnecessary chains. The more you free yourself and others, the more easily you fall in love.

Put your baggage down

Many feel that love is not possible unless all their demands are met. However, these same people are repeatedly amazed when they find that these demands don't lead to happiness. Instead, the demands are just obstacles to falling in love.

What are your "must haves" for relationships? If you're not sure, write out the list and take a good look at it. Realize that this is baggage that may be keeping all kinds of people and possibilities away. This baggage may also make you fearful, rigid and closed off to what is available for you right now. Zen asks us to break free of old demands.

Try letting one of these demands subside for just one day. Notice how you feel without it. (Remember, you can always take it back again.) Then try it another day. As you do this many times, you may find that things you thought were crucial for your life were really getting in the way. The more you do this, the more light and happy you will feel. Plus, this openness allows all kinds of new people, possibilities and situations to start coming your way. You will have made room for them by putting your baggage down.

Give gifts

Giving and receiving are at the core of every relationship. When we are in love, this is never a problem. We naturally give and are happy with whatever is offered in return. If you want to open up to falling in love, adopt this state of mind and start giving naturally.

What gifts do you give others in relationships? What do you hope to receive in return? Now take a moment to consider what else you can give someone. Then give it. Do this every day. Each day, give something else. It does not have to be fancy or expensive -- or even a material object -- just something that will add to his or her day. Then do this with all kinds of different people. Zen is about doing this kind of thing quietly without great fanfare and without expecting something in return.

Do this with yourself as well. Take a moment to find out what kind of gift you would like. Simple examples are taking a walk in the park, buying a new lipstick or spending time with someone you care for. Now give yourself a gift each day.

Although this exercise is simple, it is extremely powerful. Doing this daily can turn everything around in your relationships. When you give, remember not to look for anything in return (not even a smile or thank you). Just give to give, with no expectations, no demands. By living with this open, generous mind, all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally.

Make friends with yourself

Many people say they are lonely, even when they have a partner at their side. This is simply because they have not yet made friends with themselves. According to Zen, once you come to terms with yourself and appreciate who you are on a personal level, it is impossible to be lonely anymore.

Make friends with yourself. Spend time noticing who you are. Accept all parts of yourself. Stop judging and rejecting what is going on inside. Be still and look within.

Start with this exercise. Pay attention to your breath and just notice what is going on. Let it be. Accept it, and return to the breathing. Understand that, breath by breath, underneath the clamor, you are perfect just as you are. Can you choose to be this natural self in relationships? Can you choose to have relationships with those who want and appreciate just what you are? Making positive changes in your life - and your relationships - can start with something as simple as taking off your shoes.

Monday, July 12, 2010

5 Easy Ways to Say I Love You

Whether you're lovers or friends with benefits, these 5 easy ways to say "I love you" will enhance your communication, increase your intimacy & get you closer together.

mproving your relationships - whether you're intimately involved or just friends - requires communication and togetherness. These five easy ways to say "I love you" will improve your relationships and all aspects of your life, too.

5 Easy Ways to Say "I Love You"

Author AA Milne gave us a hint in Winnie the Pooh about improving your relationships:

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne, from Winnie the Pooh.

Milne was a fantastic writer because he could pack a whole lot of punch into these five short sentences. He was referring to relationships, and our need to be sure of each other. Evidently it's not just humans who need love and comfort – it's piglets and honey bears, too.

Take Milne's love advice and stick with simple, practical ways to say "I love you very much".

5 Easy Ways to Say "I Love You": Practical Tips on Getting Closer to Your Partner

1. Simply reach out. Piglet reached out to Pooh and took his hand because he wanted assurance of love, attention, and affection. Physically reaching out to your partner can take you out of your comfort zone and improve your relationships. Reaching out does make you vulnerable to rejection but it also brings you out from behind your walls. Simply hugging or kissing to say "I love you" can improve your relationships.

2. Take action. Don't wait for your lover, sister, or mother to reach out to you. Improve your relationships by dropping your pride, being honest, and telling them what you need. Piglet just wanted to know Pooh was there – maybe you need a similar reassurance, or something deeper. It doesn't matter; what matters is how you express your need when you're focused on improving your relationships. Say "I love you" by making the first move.

3. Experiment. You need to try new things to find out what works when you're thinking about improving your relationships. Maybe holding hands doesn't do it for you, but a fifteen minute walk or telephone conversation might. If you've never taken a class or meditated with your partner to improve your relationship, maybe you should consider it as a way to say I love you!

4. Make it daily. Improving your relationships involves discussions, ideas, new beginnings, old habits, sharing memories, making plans, spending time doing the mundane. Having a great relationship with anyone, even your brother or best friend or God, involves making a conscious choice every day.

5. Communicate. Piglet talked to Pooh – if you think it's hard to talk to your lover, try being a pig and talking to your best honey bear friend! Piglet called Pooh by name, and verbally shared his reason for reaching out. Improving your relationships requires good communication.

Keeping any relationship fresh and lively can be difficult – but improving your relationships can be as simple as sidling up and saying, "I just wanted to be sure of you." That's just another way to say I love you.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

What Makes People Fall in Love

Love youWhat makes people fall in love? This question is even tackled in movies: “But why doesn’t he love me?” sobbed Sally as she mopped up her tears and runny nose in When Harry Met Sally. She was heartbroken that her old boyfriend married someone else. Sally is not alone: most old and young lovers experience broken hearts and feelings of rejection in their lives. What makes people fall in love - the chemistry in romantic relationships - can seem like a mystery.

Knowing why we fall in love may help ease feelings of rejection and heartbreak. If someone doesn’t fall in love with you, it’s not because you’re ugly, stupid or poor. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t right. Why we fall in love has been researched extensively.
What Makes People Fall in Love

Psychologist Mark Kristal from the University of Buffalo explains the chemistry in romantic relationships. “There are several types of chemistry required in romantic relationships,” he says. “It seems like a variety of different neurochemical processes and external stimuli have to click in the right complex and right sequence for someone to fall in love.” The chemistry in romance requires certain elements of love.

1. Smell. We fall in love partly because of smell. The scent of a bouquet of red roses, for instance, is a cultural preference that boosts the chemistry in romantic relationships. Dr Kristal says, “Smell forms part of the framework that conforms to cultural attractiveness standards. For example, smelling like a strawberry instead of mildew [makes you attractive].” Smelling delicious could be part of why we fall in love.
2. Love pheromones. Invisible signals are part of what makes people fall in love. “Pheromones are unlearned, and perhaps unsmellable, signals that enter the brain through the olfactory system. They can function in sex, alarm, territoriality, aggression, and fear,” says Dr Kristal. He believes that we choose specific mates not solely due to pheromones, but for other reasons. Other sensory cues are better explanations for why we fall in love, such as touch, smell, and hearing.
3. The brain. We fall in love partly because of hormones. Oxytocin and vasopressin are present when people fall in love and stay together for a long time. Dopamine is also part of the chemistry in romantic relationships. So, when you’re wondering “Why doesn’t he love me?” you may have to look to brain chemistry as the answer. It’s not necessarily you, it’s just that your brain chemicals didn’t mesh. Lack of hormones could explain why we fall inlove.

Can you make someone love you very much? Well, since the chemistry in romantic relationships is affected by smell, you could try approaching someone you like with a dozen roses or a mug of hot chocolate. And since the hormone oxytocin can be created by positive experiences, it might be smart to ensure all your interactions are pleasant ones.

Just remember that the chemistry in romantic relationships doesn’t change who you are as a person. Sally in When Harry Met Sally was just as beautiful, smart and funny after her ex-boyfriend married someone else.

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Women In Love Stories


Read the article, “Living Your Own Love Story” here. Well, what can women learn from the main female characters in these stories? In her book, Writing the Great American Romance Novel, Catherine Lanigan discusses several characteristics that are imperative for the female heroine to have in any romance story. I believe these are also characteristics that are important to a husband and to a woman’s children as they look to her to be all that she can be for them and for herself.

Just like the male character, the female has an obstacle that she must overcome. This spurs the excitement in the story. In all romance novels, the female star is the “cog of the wheel” and everything else revolves around her. Sounds pretty good doesn’t it? In a well written romance novel, the character works through the chaos of the story using her strengths.

The female character must be intelligent. This is a similar characteristic to her male counterpart. Something that must take place with her however is that she must listen to those wise friends around her as she evolves into a better person. Both the male and female characters grow in the story.

Different from her male counterpart, the female must listen to her intuition. This is a big strength with women in general. Men have an inkling of it too; it’s just that they don’t listen to it very much. We’re too analytical sometimes. Inherent in the story format is that the woman must listen to her heart and be open to love.

She must be compassionate in an active way. She roots for the underdog, stands in picket lines and speaks her mind. She is the kind of nurturing friend that all females hope to be. She is courageous and in romance novels, she finally discovers the courage to love. This is part of the conflict. After being hurt or pursuing a career for far too long, the crisis in the story must push the female towards the ability to love. As the story climaxes, she realizes that she can’t live her life or fight her battles alone. This is the driving force that pushes her towards the hero, which is what the romance is about, and should be what your marriage is about.

Your kids, your career, and your parents are all important but none of them can carry you off into the sunset the way your man can. All men want a beauty by their side and Lanigan discusses the importance of the beauty characteristic. As we know, beauty must be internal and external.

What causes some women to lose their inner beauty? Some women grow bitter for a variety of reasons. They were hurt by their father and therefore are unable to make a deep connection with a man. They don’t like themselves and can’t see why anyone would love them. These are personal matters that if explored and resolved can increase the beauty in a woman tenfold.

Those women you admire in love stories, so much, what about them do you appreciate and how can you be like them. Their example can be a chance for incredible growth in your life. Trust me, your husband will love you for it.

Friday, July 2, 2010

10 mysteries of love. Relationship secrets

Love is …. Well, of course, the raison d’ĂȘtre. But love, moreover, still, is the rock, which our hearts and hopes break on, like waves. Discover 10 mysteries of love or relationship secrets.

People are different in general. And yet, we piously believe that “perfect love” is indivisible with full consent in everything. And we hope to realize our own desires and needs with help of a partner. And our main demand - we should be accepted the way we are.

So we have a real paradox in relationship secrets: on the one hand, we want independence and isolation, but on the other - affection and total unity. We could save so many nerve cells, if we securely buried a so-called “perfect love”! Because of it, cursed, there exist heartbreaking stories for serials and melodramas.

The problem is that these scenes move into real life. Read 10 relationship secrets - and you will open the truth we live for.

1. The Power of Thought

Love begins with a thought. We are what we think. Change your thoughts - and you will change your emotions - this is very simple. If you have bad thoughts - you feel anger, mistrust of beloved, jealousy, if you are happy - happiness, if joy - joyful … and if your thoughts are full of love - you feel love. Thoughts full of love create a life full of love and relationships full of love. Therefore, if you want love - create it. The only reliable way to know who is your ideal even before meeting with him - to think about those qualities you need in a man.

2. The Power of Respect

In order to love someone or something, you must first respect it. And, above all, you need to respect yourself, and if you do not like and respect yourself, it is very difficult to love and respect others. We need to learn accepting ourselves, appreciate ourselves, regardless of what other people think or say about us. You just need to learn to ensure that everyone has a place on Earth. Each of us is unique and priceless - regardless of skin color, religion or ideological views. Everyone living on this Earth is respected only for this.

3. The strength of donation

If you want to get love - grant it. The more you grant - the more you get. Love is like a boomerang - it always returns back. Maybe not always from the person whom you gave it, but it will still come back to you. And will return a hundredfold. The stock of Love is not limited. When we give - we do not lose. To lose love inside of us means not giving it to others. If you want to experience true love and learn relationship secrets, you must be willing to give love without reservation, without requiring anything in return. A gift is not a gift, if not given for free. This unconditional love is not asking anything in return.

Practice good acts for no special reason. To love - means to give a part of yourself without reservations and payment. Before you enter into a relationship, ask yourself not what other people will be able to give you, but what you can give them. A secret formula of happy romantic relationship for whole life is paying attention not to the fact what you can take, but the fact what you can give.

4. The Power of Friendship

If you want to find true love - find firstly a true friend. A partner must share your views, values and goals. To truly love someone, you should love him for who he is, and not for the way he looks. Friendship is soil, which seeds of love grow in. If you want to bring love in the relationship - at first insert friendship.

5. The Power of Touch

Love is the most powerful healing force in entire universe. Touch has an incredible energy, creating miracles. Touch - one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking barriers and strengthening relationship. It changes physical and emotional condition, and makes people more receptive to love. Touch can help heal body and warm soul. When you open arms - you open your heart.

6. «Give Freedom»

There is a Chinese proverb: «If you love someone - let him go free. If he comes back to you - it is yours, and if not - it will never be your». If you love someone - respect his needs and desires. If you can not let go someone you love - this is not love. We are writing pages of life by ourselves. It is impossible to cause love, we need to let people we love go. If you love someone - you need to enable him being free.

Free to make decisions, free to live as he wants, but not as we wish. It is not always easy to let go people you love, but there is no other way. There is no need to let go when relationships are over - you need to let go when relationships still exist. Each of us needs his own space, and people need it even in a truly romantic relationships.. People need to be free in relationship, because otherwise they feel trapped.

When we are clinging to someone, we can emotionally choke him, and this is usually done out of jealousy, fear, or uncertainty, rather than of love. We need to get rid not only of physical affection, it is necessary to get rid of all that hinders love, all prejudices and judgments about people. If you want to learn to love and use relationship secrets, you should learn to forgive, and release from past grievances and sadness.

Each of us makes mistakes, and if you want others to forgive you, be ready to forgive them too. Love means to free ourselves from fear, prejudice, ego and reservations. Just remember that every problem (jealousy, hatred, pain and other negative emotions) brings a gift that can enrich your life.

7. The Power of Communication

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly - life is changing. Learn to express your feelings. Failure to communicate with each other - the most common disease that afflicts humans. Never be afraid to say those 3 magical words «I love you». If you deal - do it honestly and openly. Love means sharing and communication. Let people know you love and appreciate them. Do not ever miss an opportunity to praise someone. Define, finally, a question: If you were to die soon and be able to call those people you love - whom would you call, what would you say and Why not to do it right now?

8. The Power of Devotion

If you are not devoted to a person - in fact you do not love him. To have true love relationship, you need to be brought to that relationship. Devotion distinguishes fragile relationship from strong. Love is devotion. Fear of commitment - fear. Fear - the biggest obstacle to Love. Fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of loss. Want Love - sought to overcome your fears and concerns, and be willing to devote yourself to everything dear to you. Any relationship has its ups and downs, good and bad times.

Viability of relationship depends on how we cope with such periods. For a successful relationship, both partners should realize that their relationship’s most important: money, career, cars and clothing. And parting should not be seen, even as an option. The problem is that sometimes we are just not devoted to another, and therefore give up. To make love true, we need to be loyal to it, and this dedication will be reflected in thoughts and actions. Devotion - is a real test of love.

9. The Power of Passion

For truly romantic relationships we require passion. Purely sexual passion is brief and may not be the basis of long-lasting relationship. Passion is not limited to sex. This is a deep interest and enthusiasm. Passion - is that magic spark that ignites and nourishes love;

If you lose that spark, the relationship is slowly dying. Physical passion is short, a much stronger passion comes from thoughts and feelings. Spontaneity and surprises ignite passion. When we lose passion for something, we lose feeling of love. The essence of love and passion is the same - you should live each day with passion.

10. The Power of Trust

Confidence is vital for relationship secrets between two people. Trust not just another one, trust relationship itself. Without trust, one person becomes suspicious, troubling, full of fear, the other feels trapped. Therefore, it is impossible to truly love someone, if he does not trust. Future should not necessarily be the same as past. And whatever it is, whatever your experience is, each of us has an ability to change.

We are writing the book of life by ourselves. Life changes when we are changing. The next page is not necessarily the same as previous one. We can start a new chapter. No matter what happened in past. Past is dead. Happiness is possible only in eternal present.

Real love is just taking the other person. Fully and unconditionally. It is important to trust relationship, be sure this relationship will never end. Many people create themselves problems in life before they actually really appear.

WE CREATE LOVE BY OURSELVES - this is not the result of fate or luck. Each of us has an ability to love and be loved. No matter how you live now - in solitude, or caught in a trap of unhappy, exhausting relationship - life can change, and YOU CAN CHANGE IT.

And remember: the only person who can change your life - it is you yourself. None other.

Why I hate men


What are woman? What is this creature? Just bone of your bone. Oh, no! Not so bad! You love women, you believe beautiful women are created to delight your gaze, maintain your self-esteem. Ordinary women should provide you proper comfort, and ugly - they simply do not exist. They do not exist, they are below the threshold of your attention.

My dear, selfish man! How I hate you! This sense ripened in my head long, but it has matured. In the end, I have no less intellect than you. You often laugh the edge God created a woman of - is the only bone without brain. Okay. But a woman fully received God’s gift - an immortal soul. Woman becomes wiser with age, because soul is a repository of wisdom. Women’s heart is still not subject to your mind, and you are so annoyed by this!

You men are our protection and support in this cruel world, in the course of evolution you have not purchased accumulated wisdom of generations. You wasted yourselves on fun. In an age of technological advances you are moving from horses of flesh and blood to soulless iron wagons, and as the universality of this vehicle is greatly exaggerated, and you are using poor women’s shoulders. Family caregivers, you think working in low-jobs is below a man’s dignity, you do not want to load a double load, because you need time for contemplation of the world’s imperfections. And a woman is another imperfect work.

You raise cooking or cleaning the house to the rank of a feat, and require a minimum three weeks’ vacation after it. However, this is just a day job for a woman.

Male! You promised me, a weak woman, protection from this world, support and care. And every day you repeat me I am worthless, that I cannot live without you. And every day you show me your bad mood, poor health, conflicts with other men. I hate you because for you my work means a cheerful twittering, and your one is hard work. I hate you for what your friends represent business negotiations, and my meetings - some sort of fun. Your late coming home - the need for production, but mine - strange walking at night. I hate your exploits in the household, which are usual pastime for me.

I hate you for that I am a bad mother, and you are a wonderful father, even if you forgot about your child’s birthday. I hate you for that you can slamm the door at any time, without going into details of why and where you go, but if I allow myself such a trick, I can be sure the locks will be changed. I hate you because you made our child a hostage to my good behavior. I hate you for what I always hear: dear, I will solve all your problems! And after some time: I’m busy, I have no time, but this is your problem!

I hate you for what you want to see me weak, but always check for survival. You are infuriated with my helplessness. You go mad because of my strength and endurance. I hate you for that considering yourself stronger, you constantly humiliate me. Attacks on a weak person is a sign of cowardice.

I hate you, because if I go, I’ll be a bad woman with a terrible temper, which does not understand the happiness she had lost. I hate you for that if you leave, you’ll be a misunderstood genius who had escaped from the shackles of bourgeois life. I hate...