Positive Thought Love List

Knowing what you’re looking for is the initial step towards successful dating. An easy way to gain more clarity about what you want to attract in your life is to take the time and effort to put your thoughts and feelings down on paper. If you’re serious about creating a successful relationship, taking the time to make a Positive Thought Love List can set you on the right path.

Before you make your Positive Thought Love List, look back and evaluate your past relationships. Look at the type of person you’ve been attracted in the past and ask yourself what were the positive and negative attributes of each love relationship. You most likely have an idea of the perfect partner you want so make a list based on what dos and don’ts of what you’ve experienced beforehand. However, if those relationships haven’t worked out for you before, maybe it’s time to take a more in depth look at what you’ve based your “must have” and “don’t want” lists on in the past.

When making your list, try to be detailed and thorough. Be specific about what you want and don’t want in addition to the degree to which a behavior is acceptable or unacceptable. Have fun during this process and imagine that you are building the perfect fantasy partner, your perfect match made only for you. Split your list into three different sections that include:

Must Have’s – Not Negotible: Think about the things you felt were absent from your past relationships. Perhaps you felt that your partner didn’t give you an adequate amount of respect or seemed unsupportive when you needed it the most. In love relationships, support, challenge and encouragement are all very important. Have a positive state of mind and be clear about what you will and accept in your life. Do you like someone who is organized and tidy, and if they are untidy is this a romantic deal breaker? If you prefer to stay home and a prospective partner is a party animal, is this going to be suitable? This is very individual to each and every person, so what’s important here that it’s your choice and not what someone else feels you ‘should’ have.

Can Compromise: Think of the areas you can compromise on. These are the grey areas that you can live with if need be, it all depends on how compatibly you are in the other areas of life, as to how you feel about what you can live with or not, but most people will have a few grey areas that they don’t care. It could be that your partner is into sports and even though you are not a diehard sports fan you don’t mind as it gives you time to yourself.

Love and Relationships

Are you in a committed healthy romantic relationship that's very good for not only you, but equally for the person you love. Love and relationships are to become made for ever, not only a few days. Take a look into getting your life much more enjoyable and purposeful by realizing how to act when it comes to those you care most for.

The greatest thing to do in a romantic relationship is to care for the other person´s needs ahead of your own. Being selfless is the core of what love is all about. If you're having issues with selfishness you need to deal with them successfully ahead of coming into a marriage or other serious personal relationship. Why pull another individual into your issues? In the event you really desire to help them, you'll need to put them before yourself. This suggests sacrifice. Selfish individuals aren't prepared to make sacrifices for other people. If you're this way, save the individual you claim to adore the painfulness of finding out.

An additional significant factor of love and relationships will be the neglected virtue of commitment. Society tends to make it difficult for a guy and a lady to maintain the dedication of holy matrimony. Within the United states of america one is actually compelled to fork out much more taxes should you be married than should you just stay together. But what does "staying together" tell society? It tells the world you desire the pleasures and advantages of matrimony with no dedication. Again, this really is selfish. Don't forget; love isn't self-centered. Do the right thing. In case you genuinely would like to live for a partner, make an open public commitment of holy matrimony and get the advantages of a clear conscience as well.

For anyone who is seeking to become married to end your being lonely, this is a self-centered reason. Are you going into a marriage to help make yourself happier? How many individuals are doing this very thing and rendering their lives and the lives of others unpleasant during the process? Love and relationships are created to be mutually satisfying to both persons. If one side starts to have unrealistic expectations, it could be a ticking time bomb of feelings. What will happen when both parties have unrealistic expectations? This really is a formula for failure. When coming into critical personal romantic relationships, it can be very good to have wide open communication channels. You ought to discuss all the expectations you might have plus the other half must do likewise. The word "all" is emphasized in that previous sentence. Money, sex, the long term, kids and any other important topic should be brought out in to the discussion and frankly pointed out. Getting transparent and sincere may be the greatest policy in romance.

Love and relationships are to be held in high esteem when they're seen within the bonds of marriage. This partnership will be the bonding fabric of humankind. In case you mess it up, you aren't doing anybody a favour. About three of five marriages in the Usa are faltering, according to available data. Do not be a contributor of this break down of the social structure.

In case you are not one to keep your word, especially in marriage, it's best to keep out of the romantic relationship. Get your life in order. Grow to be the person that others can model their existence around. Later on, enter into a meaningful romantic relationship that makes the other person the object of importance. Be selfless and become happy.

Love And Boundaries

We tend to think of love as an all encompassing, overwhelming, positive feeling. We say, “I love you” and think that solves all our conflicts and arguments with our partner. During the initial stages of love, often referred to as an infatuation phase, boundaries are melted and dissolve away. We enter into the realms of the other person’s reality. We merge together. Our life becomes theirs, theirs ours. We lose ourselves. We become one. It’s a wonderful, marvelous feeling. For a while. At some point, we want ourselves back. We begin to erect some boundaries. The relationship appears to be pulling apart. Arguments and conflicts occur. We say “I love you” in hopes of remaining merged with the other person.

Love is not a static state. It is a process. There are stages. For love to endure between a couple, each person needs to maintain their individuality. The merging and melting of individuality in the initial stages is certainly important for bonding and building attachment. However, subsequent stages of love require each person to develop as an individual. When a love relationship smothers individuality, it becomes toxic. A healthy adult love relationship that has passed the infatuation stage will come to acknowledge, honor and respect the individuality of the partner. That individuality will, by definition, have a set of boundaries. Individuality and boundaries go together like a designated territory and fences. Of course, that territory has gateways in and out. It is not a secluded territory. But, it is a sovereign territory.

There are many examples wherein love and boundaries co-exist quite well. Parents love their children by establishing clear boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Children feel this love as consistency, structure and safety. Husband and wife may show their love of each other through respecting their partner’s idiosyncrasies, without trying to bend or alter them to meet their own needs. Teachers, managers, parents, friends, therapists and other roles we may take, can show love through boundaries in what is referred to as ‘tough love.’

Tough love is simply firmness. Too often love can be wimpy, weak, wishy- washy. Tough love is direct, clear, and concise. Tough love sets specific boundaries of behavior. Tough love is not violent, nor based in anger. Tough love is based on genuine caring. When a parent expresses tough love through vehement exhortations about not running into the street, it is based on the welfare of the child. When two lovers absolutely insist on no telephone contact during work hours for professional reasons, that is based on the welfare of the relationship. It is okay to be tough and firm when establishing and maintaining boundaries, if needed. An enduring love relationship without boundaries is like a glass of water without the glass….there is no shape, no form, no container. Love needs boundaries to have definition in much the same way children need structure to feel safe.

Unfortunately, as children our boundaries are often violated. Later in life we may have little or no respect for boundaries. A child who is spanked repeatedly while being told ‘this is for you own good; I’m only doing this because I love you’ will develop a belief that love = violation of boundaries or love = pain. When two people who have such beliefs get together, domestic violence is not uncommon. There may be expectations to violate boundaries as a way of demonstrating love. One or both partners may provoke such behaviors to verify that there is ‘love.’

Love takes many forms from the romantic and erotic to the familial and filial to the spiritual and altruistic. In every case, individual boundaries are going to play some role, more or less. Even if they are exceedingly minimized during some period, long standing, enduring love between two people will accept, honor and respect individual boundaries which themselves are not fixed in stone, do adjust over time and can be one of the more important considerations in a love relationship.